This weekend I had the absolute honor and pleasure of being the officiant for Rob and Kassy’s wedding.
This is a nerve racking responsibility.
Being responsible for making sure one of the biggest events in someone’s life isn’t something that comes without stress.
I struggled for weeks to try to figure out what I would tell the couple that trusted me with such a monumental task.
Especially because I’m not known for my profound thought hahaha.
So I did what I know best, I kept it simple because I’m an idiot.
So here are the two lessons I shared with them that I’ll share with all of you.
Toothpaste and Participation Trophies
I hate them and think they will be the death of society, but in theory they can provide some value to each of our lives.
If I reflect back on all the times of stress and feelings of being overwhelmed I can pinpoint that feelings to a very specific action
Or more appropriately one non-action
All those scenarios were made worse because I chose not to be an active participant in my own life or in a relationship.
I just hoped that if I ignored it, then the problem would solve itself or the issue would go away.
That has literally never happened, not one single time.
And even in the cases where the outcome wasn’t what I wanted I still always felt better once I acted on the situation.
When we don’t act we forfeit control of our lives and relinquish the ability to drive any chance at a given outcome we may desire.
This always happened to me because I was worried about winning or losing. What if don’t win???
This is a trap because it assumes that the game of life has an ending. That game actually just keeps going regardless of our inaction each day.
There will be more opportunities, but we will never be capable to taking advantage of them if we won’t participate in our own lives.
Participate in your relationships, even if they don’t bring you everything you want
Participate in your profession, even if the outcome doesn’t necessarily benefit you
Participate in your own goals and endeavors, even if you don’t think they are acheivable.
The alternative option is actually known and never changes.
(I stole this concept from Michael Michalowicz)
When we get a new tube of toothpaste, we use tons of it. More toothpaste than 10 people would need at once.
We waste it and spill it everywhere
But when the tube starts to get empty we tend to get really creative.
Think of all the ways you’ve used to squeeze every ounce our of a tube
(Even the one where you fold it in half and roll it up a pencil and then use two thumbs to squeeze it and carefully aim at the brush you’ve perfectly propped on the sink to catch it)
Bottom line is we never waste toothpaste when the tube is low.
We should treat our time and our lives like the empty tube, but we don’t. We don’t because we always think there will be more.
Time runs out and we only live so long.
We aren’t strapped for time, we are wasting it doing stuff that isn’t productive.
It wasn’t that the job or the relationship was bad, we took it for granted.
We didn’t clean up our nutrition because “I’ll clean it up in a couple months” (when the tube gets low)
We are all guilty of wasting the toothpaste, but we can participate in correcting the problem.